New Polar Ice Caps

Double A has been tossing some of his art work up on his blog the last couple of weeks. So I thought I'd do the same. Also, I couldn't think of anything to write.

The Forbidden Kingdom

I had the opportunity to see the Film that has finally brought the two martial arts legends, Jackie Chan and Jet Li, under one roof, The Forbidden Kingdom today. I was skeptical to go and see it initially because it was an American movie directed by a westerner, and it was in English. In past years, it has been my opinion that American producers have failed to grasp the concept of, and thereby failed at turning out a Kung-fu movie that was worth seeing. There are exceptions to this that come in the form of movies like the Rush Hour series. But Movies like The One or The Tuxedo hardly capture the physical prowess the and capabilities of the leads featured in the marquee. To my surprise and relief, Forbidden Kingdom successfully creates intricate and believable fight scenes with just a touch of whimsical wire fighting.

But, though this movie has positive attributes, so does it have its flaws. The writers and producers had to fit fit a very unnecessary, and distracting white lead character that serves little more as a punching bag and enforces the argument that Hollywood doesn't think that western audiences can watch a movie that doesn't have westerners in it. Which is dumb when you think about the bank roll that motion picture masterpieces like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Hero pulled in. But worst than the fact that the cracker character had to be written in is that the way he enters the story is so played out and boring that it really needs to be addressed. Please Hollywood Writers, no more A Modern Day Yankee in King Aurthur's Court rip-offs, and quit making every white dude in a Kung-Fu movie be freaking Daniele son from Karate-Kid. (Besides Daniele-son was supposed to be Latino.) I mean really fella', I'm a cracker, and I hate those round-eyes that keep ruining my English speaking Kung-fu movies. I have no culture so why don't you let me enjoy someone else's for a couple of minutes and quit trying to white-wash that ish.

Luckily, the corny white boy was outweighed by the Gorgeous lead good and bad women in this movie. My Mothra list was instantly changed when I saw this feature. I mean how I've never seen either of these girls before in my life is awe-inspiring. Bing Bing Li and Yifei Lui can fight with me, or more preferably, over me any day. (The pictures I found hardly do either of these ladies justice. See the movie and you'll know what I'm saying.)

Bing Big Li

Yifei Lui

Saturday Morning Food Poisoning

I broke one of my long time rules yesterday: Never eat Japanese dishes that are made with fish in America. I ordered Grilled Calamari in Ann Arbor and woke up mid-way through the night puking in the ivory potty mouth. Man that sucked! I haven't been sick in a year, I was liking it too.

While blowing chunks, I contemplated all of life's important questions. Like why would anyone who had a mouth, and therefore have a roof of their mouth, ever want to eat regular Captain Crunch or Crunchy Peanut Butter? They're like sugar and glass shards with milk or bread.

Anyway, The myspace is updated with new Sympull Demo 2008 tracks for your enjoyment. Happy Saturday. 2's www.myspace.com/sympull

The Chuck Norris Phenomenon

What is Chuck Norris's Draw? (Oh, Wait, before I get any life-threatening hate mail over this one I will tell you I like Chuck Norris. And, the fact that hordes of people, that came a generation after he stopped making movies or television shows, are making jokes in his honor is incredibly humorous.) I just want to know why are people so engaged with Chuck Norris now?

The bigger question for me is really this, why are people making up 'Chuck Norris Facts' and not 'Bruce Lee Facts', or 'Jackie Chan Facts', or maybe most appropriately, 'Jet Li Facts'? I think we can all agree that even Young Chuck Norris was not the greatest in this group of action heroes. Heck Bruce Lee could've tanned his hide three times before lunch, when he was still breathing, for sure. (Once again, to reiterate, Chuck Norris doesn't in anyway suck. That would be very far from the truth.) I mean what would a Bruce Lee joke look like? Do the people writing Chuck Norris Jokes even know who he is, or have they ever seen his movies?



Either way, this 'Chuck Norris Phenomenon' has swept the nation. It has started showing up on T-shirts, Commercials, too many Youtube posts to mention, and even political campaigns. (And the fact that Hucklebee was unable to get out of the primaries with the republican nomination, even with the Colbert bump and the endorsement from Chuck, defies all logic.)



I've heard many great Chuck Norris Facts. These are some of my favorites:

Some people where Super-man pajamas to bed. Super-man wears Chuck Norris Pajamas.

Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, but he never cries.

There's no such thing as evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris lets live.

Jesus can walk on water, but, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

What are your favorites?

The Return To EL

This weekend Pearson and I headed to the Cedar Fest Party in East Lansing. We knew it started last week, but a party of this projected magnitude was sure to last two, possibly two months. So coming a week into it was barely scraping the 'fashionably late' category. So as we rolled into what was anticipated to be the destructive gala of the year, we were greatly disappointed to learn that Lansing PD had already ended the bash before the entire city had be set ablaze. Did the police not understand that rioting and near apocalyptic rampage is part their City's esteemed history and is interwoven in it's residence bloodlines? Tsk, Tsk.

No for real, We went to see our buddies Cyn and Jung. It was cool to see the good ol' E-L and remember all of shows that we had done, while still in [gt], in the area the year before. And it was fairly awkward repairing a friendship that hadn't been practiced for an entire year. Growing up is a weird transition. Changing up from bitching about classes to bitching about work is an odd evolution because of how quickly the two switch positions.

But it was great to share the new tracks with Cyn and Jung and see that they're in good health and all that corny nonsense. And it was good to have Anco Bubble Tea and talk about Japanese horror films with Cyn.

Why do you care? I don't really know. But as I mentioned the new demo is done. Ill be tossing those new songs on the myspace this week, and tell you when they're posted. Alright, 2's.

3 CD's on a Sunday Afternoon

Sunday was a pretty uneventfully day. Which is good, because honestly it was the first warm day of the ear and was a good day for reading outdoors or riding around in the car with the windows down. I figured I'd do both, but in opposite order. I had some gift certificates for best buy and cruised out there to pick me up some new music. I purchased three new albums; Gnarls Barkley: The Odd Couple, Del: The Eleventh Hour, and Sara Bareilles: Little Voices. (Kind of an Eclectic mix.)

So First off Gnarls Barkley. The Odd Couple is everything you would come to expect from this inventive Duo. It runs the gamut from hip-hop to neo-soul while speckling in a little motown. It's highly experimental, highly engaging, and of course, packs comical undertones that are sure to entertain. I recommend you pick it up. It'll be worth your time. 4 1/2 pachyderms.

Second is Del. Eleventh hour does not follow the lines of the Deltron deliveries in the least. If you liked Del when he was on the Gorrillas' tapes, you'll be maybe disappointed, and at least surprised by this album. It doesn't suck. It reminds me of I Wish My Brother George was Here. (His first release.) But, admittedly, I wasn't ready for a throwback. There are some pretty decent runs and cool phrasing, but Del isn't DEL if he's not boasting excitement and half singing his vocals. If you do get it, just be prepared for a change. 3 pachyderms.
Lastly, Sara Bareillis. Little Voices is such a Bad Title for an album with such incredible singing and musical prowess. It's simply Amazing. Cool storyteling and deep lyrics prove that she is worth the hype she's been receiving in the mass media. (Not that the mass media mean ish to Anthony.) Pick up this CD when you need some music to ride you to the coffee shop. 5 pachyderms.

Why Waste Time Combatting Sagging Pants?

This week, my Ultra Right-Winged Conservative Step-father gladdly handed me an article that was entitled: Activist voices frustration with sagging pants trend with t-shirt. He knew it would get me fired up, and I think he thought that he could some how win an argument if the news paper called some you-never-heard-of-before poet an activist, and a collection of Government Officials heroes for trying to lead a movement to pass laws to outlaw sagging pants. What it really did was to lead us to answer a philosophical question. Should the government on any level waste their time trying to under-mind the dress of a culture just because the previous generations do not understand it's purpose? Especially if it is already protected by the 1st ammendment of the United States Constitution? The Answer is no. (But Delcambre, Louisiana said yes and passed a law that will fine you $500 and/or put you in jail for 6 months for sagging in public.) And I can tell you why.

I'll try and say this with as little stank as I can so that the Geriatrics who are leading these rallies, potentially wasting our tax dollars on these useless revolts, and wearing their pants so high as to make them waddle, can understand the content of the message. Sagging in its nature is perpetuated by its comfort. I don't want my pants covering my stomach. The 'buttox' and the hips are specifically designed to catch things that are falling off the waist. The abdominal regions are specially created to hold the food we've eaten and, when 'wash-board' like, make special lady friends desire to touch them. My pants should not leave a red mark at my 'waist'. That would be dumb. Tight pants are also very restrictive to the naughty no-no region. You're choking off and killing the saucy swimmers in your Berry-Boys. And that's just plain ungentlemanly.

I honestly wonder if there's a secret conspiracy in the world, by politicians, to make everyone wear three piece suits because they think they have to wear monkey suits to their jobs. I say that we should demand our government officials dress like real people. Require them to dress comfortably so that they're not always on end and aren't so quick to press the kill switch to go to war with every single minute issue that is whined to them by some senile senior in a nursing home.

I understand that kids can often over celebrate the point and rock jeans on their ankles. That's overboard, but you don't need to tell them that. After they trip up and fall on their faces a couple times, they'll buy a belt on their own. We don't need laws to tell us that we shouldn't cause ourselves to fall on our faces.

I need my government officials to spend their time figuring out how to lower my taxes, and how to stop racial injustice. You know, important issues. I personally can tell you, I don't pay your salary for you to bully some kids who are either just trying to fit in, or just trying to make sure they can procreate in the ladder years. We as a society need to quit letting people who waste time on our watch be championed! We need to punish this type of behavior from the government. Take a weeks pay from them. You wasted time banning skateboarding in a park last week, now you can give me a week for free. Do the work I pay you to do, go fix the pot-holes or mend the deficit. Quit making speeches about how pants are ruining our nations youth. It's over pretentious authority figures that disenfranchise the youth and alienate them from society. Indirectly this is what encourages the disobedience and the lack of effort to contribute to society. You can't stop people from being themselves. The article may tell you 'Clothes make the man', but I would argue that the 'Man makes the clothes'. Baggy jeans that dip down a bit don't make you a hoodlum rapscallion or a gang affiliate. It's beyond disappointing that these things make it past a local PTA circles. Let's just let the sagging thing go. There's plenty of worst things that we should make laws against...Like Capri's!! 2's.

Yes!!!! My First Negative Comment on the Blog!!!

Super stoked!! The funniest ish just happened. Somebody was so pissed about the Kurt Cobain = Kanye West rant that they talked shit on my blog! They even tried to insult me personally and rip on the Sugoi-jin stuff, The Rap stuff, everything. Oh and the 'Balding' line was the perfect final touch. (By the way, I'm completely bald! I shave my head.) I mean someone just tried to talk ish to me like he wanted to go to blows. Freaking Awesome!!! I wonder if the dude actually knows me . I think this is so funny. Sorry, though, I didn't behave. I did spin words on him too. But for real, it's all in jest. It just shows you how defensive people get over the whole Kurt Cobain thing. But if we all just let it go, we'll all be happier. It's all peace though. Alright, read the post and enjoy. 2's.

Kurt Cobain is NOT Tupac

This will piss off a lot of people, and I apologize for that in advance because great leaders like the Buddha taught us that we should not try and bring more stress and suffering to people than is already apparent in the world. But, this is something that has resignated with me as a songwriter and singer for a long time. Kurt Cobain was not a visionary. He was not a great song writer, or a great musician. He didn't have a particularly great voice either. In fact, Nirvana as a whole was mediocre at best as a band. David Grohl is ten times the lyricist and musician than Kurt Cobain could have ever hoped to amount to. Foo Fighters is a great band. Best of You takes a nice warm dump on Never Mind every time it comes on. This is a hard point for some kids who are still caught up in grung-land and are still in the habbit of wearing flannels and not washing their hair regularly, but it's time to let the myth die. Just because Kurt Cobain died tragically in a self induced drug overdose, it doesn't make him worthy of Rock God Status! If that were the case, then every fallen heroine attic riding the dragon in Ypsilanti is deserving of a statue and a star on the walk.

The real reason that I get a little twisted over the whole Kurt Cobain thing is the fact that the Rock and Goth kids have made him into a Tupac copy. When Tupac Died (2 years after Cobain) he had an epic conspiracy theory attatched. The 7 Day Theory gave hope to people who had seen Tupac rise to a position of power not ony in music but in the Urban community. Though troubled, Tupac was a beacon for social change and in the end was crossed by the people who he was in business with. (Or was breaking business ties with as later discoveries suggest.) But he had the 7 Day Theory. Years after both Tupac and Kurt died, someone came up with some dumb government / Courtney Love murder thing that was one of the dumbest stories I've ever heard. How could anyone not think Kurt Cobain committed suicide?! Every other song he sang implied that he really need a hug and that in fact he was seriously going to commit suicide. Honestly people, just except that you should have given him the hug he wanted, and maybe some cocoa, and that his death is more the fault of his fans-or more over drugs-than Courtney Love, and has no link to the government and nothing suspect about it. People just can't let Tupac be the only Tupac in town.

Next Pac's poetry book drops. Then comes Cobain's after death poetry book comes out. I mean STOP!!! Let it go. Johnny Cash is a rock G! Follow Him! Listen to I Ain't Mad at Cha and maybe you'll comprehend why people liked Tupac. Otherwise, if you're gonna compare Cobain to any rapper it should be Kanye West. They are pretty much the same. They're both Mediocre at everything they do but talk about themselves like they're epic and fighting for change, and intern people celebrate them like they're greats. Point being Kurt Cobain, and Kanye West, are both eh. Get a new idol. 2's.

Smash Bros. Brawl's Shortcommings

Ok, let me start this entry out by saying that the new Smash Bros. is freaking amazing! The wifi battles with dudes across country and across seas feature, the story mode, the trophy stuff, the huge selection of characters...all of these things are great. However I'd be lying if I told you there weren't a couple of things that have really been bugging me throughout the last couple of Smash Bros. chapters.

First and foremost, the lack of Punch-Out representation just irks me something fierce. [And if you dare say Little Mac is an assist trophy in the comments, I swear I will reach through the broadband and slap you like a Loony Tune.] Punch-Out was one of the biggest classics in Nintendo's past. Both on NES and SNES installments were gems. The fact that they've skipped sequels on any of the systems that surpassed the SNES [well they had better graphics anyway...] is a tragedy. Heck the way they pimp Star Fox, Donkey Kong Country, and Kirby, I think that anything less than Little Mac, Bald Bull, and Super Macho Man as playable characters is too shy an entry. Look, my feeling is this, if you're going to base your universe around old school meets new school, and you're going to reach for obscure characters that most people haven't herd of before they were hidden characters on 'Smash', you sure better fit in the characters that people invested their childhood in. Find me one kid (from the 80's or 90's) that didn't Play Mike Tyson's or Super Punch-Out, then find me one kid who did play an F-Zero game. Point made.

The Second ramble is really more of me hoping for the future. In the next Smash Bros., I want to see more third party contenders. I want to see dudes like Pac-man and Cloud in the Mix. I know my Brother RockmanTJ wants Sora from Kingdom Hearts. But above all else I wanna see this medium bring back the big dogs from back in the day who just don't get to see the light too often anymore. I wanna see them do what they do for characters like Zelda/Shiek and make me a Bonk [PC原人]/Airzonk character. And while we're at it bring in the other Hudson Soft players from Bomberman to Adventure Island. And I know you all wanna see Knuckles and Dr.Robotnick [Egg-man] go at it. (Robotnick would have a killer Smash Ball

move, *Chuch*) I think the possibilities are endless and a voting system could help fans rally and keep the game's development in the forefront from announcement to commencement.

Sora Ltd. Did such a great job on the latest that I already can't wait till' the next go around. I wish for a day when we can see Nintendo play Obama and unite all the Video Game universes under one 'Brawl'.